GREED VS COMPASSION: IN THE WAKE OF THE CORONAVIRUS

When the president announced the sudden lock down,  the whole nation went into a state of frenzy. With no clear understanding of what the term meant, the purpose was defeated even before it started.

The lockdown or cordon sanitaire is an area where no one can enter or leave, mainly aimed to stop the infection speading outside the city. Any imported cases are then dealt with through isolation and treatment. This is what was done around Wuhan and the neighboring cities causing their number of cases to plummet to zero. However,  It was the direct opposite in this country. People were fleeing like drones to the areas exempted from the lockdown. Belive you me, I am still trying to fathom the psychology of my people. But afterall, every man for himself, right?

The decision to have a lockdown would have been perfect if not for the few predictable flaws. Among them being the lack of intense public education right from the genesis and the apparent lack of forecast into the economic stability. These serve as the breeding ground for the most ostentatious atrocities.

Over night, Items were being sold for more than 3 times their initial price and the markets were chocked.  What could be bought to feed a family of ten could now only feed five.  The traders had become prey to their own bizarre and competely selfish desires and somewhat misguided ambitions of wealth, falling into the bottomless pit of greed. It is like they just woke up as different creatures. Their evidently bright plan is to make the year's profit in the short lockdown period. As the wise man Rusty Eric once said, "As long as greed is stronger than compassion,  there would always be suffering".

It is amusing how these same people can sit back and talk of corruption by the leaders with impunity. I found truth in the saying that we always criticise the things in other peple that we fear most in ourselves. Yet another staggering revelation is that some people with COVID- 19 spontaneously fancy moving into this country.  They've been using unapproved routes and smuggling themselves in pin- sized cargo. For goodness sake, where is the compassion?!

Globally, there are over 700, 000 confirmed cases of coronavirus infection.  Yes, the figures are frightening and petrifying causing one to shake(not the good kind). But this one too shall pass. As long as there is hope, there is a way. We live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don't believe in miracles?

Let's remember to be kind to one another,  be compassionate and remember the power of community.

With love,
Elizabeth.

OVERSHARING, OVERCORRECTION AND OVERCOMPENSATION

Wait, what?!

When I showed him those private nessages, I inherently regreted in an instant. I was so determined to prove a point, like a lion looking for his dinner, that I divulge to him the must nots. Yet, the relationship remained more slime and sleaze than I could ever imagine. I started bombarding him with messages and calls with the aim of reestablishing a broken connection.  Speak of over compensation!

Over compensation is going to the gym and trying to lift a 100kg when you can only lift 50kg. Overcompensation is striving feverishly to fit in socially that you appear awkward. According to the merriam- webster dictionary,  over compensation is excessive reaction to a feeling of inferiority,  guilt or inadequacy leading to an exaggerated attempt to overcome the feeling. It can sometimes be counterproductive.

You are going to run into people who don't deserve to get to know you on a certain level.  Vulnerability needs to be earned and trust needs to be built.  In one of my posts, I talked of how you crush when you rush in friendship and basically relationships in general. Let your conversations and dealings with others be seasoned with moderation.  You don't have to share everything.

It is amazing how people can share so much about their lives online when in  real life they won't dare do that. Some showing evidence of their apparent best life, pda filled relationships, glamour filled fashion, fierce workouts, botched and seemingly perfect surgeries and misleading advertisement. A lot of it is just smoke and mirrors. It has created this phenomenon where people end up comparing the different chapters of their lives  with those of others, which is unhealthy.

Once an authoritative yet misogynistic teacher gave a female student 12 strong lashes that tore through the bare fleshy skin, because the student stepped  out to the hostel during class hours. He didn't even bother to find out the absolutely valid reason the student went out in the first place. Overcorrection can come in so many spectrums. It is trying so hard to make something right that you go overboard. For instance, when your previous wife doesn't want children and you marry another then have a gazilion babies that you cannot adequately take care of. No need for name calling here.

Be winning in real life and not just on social media; be present, be content, be respectful of  boundaries; be moderate and don't let the actions of others determine your character.  Like a Latin proverb says, too much of anything is bad. Eating is great for the body, however,  delightful over indulgence in even the favorites: chocolates,  donuts, wine, ecetera could lead to obesity. So why don't you evaluate the areas that you are literally going overboard.

WHY SILENCE IS NOT ALWAYS GOLDEN

I used to be mute... it feels weird to even say that now. Lately, I have allowed myself to be assertive. That was not the story before. I guess I wanted to be seen as an angel; not offending anyone; treading so gently so not to hurt a fly. Some ended up interpreteding my kind and considerate manners as a sign of fear. Little did they know they were in for a surprise.

Sometimes, people intentionally test you, to know how far they can go with disrespecting you. When someone says or does something that hurt you, say something. Let them know right there that what they did or said isn't right. Don't overthink it! No one is that important to hold a wholesale department in your mind, speak up and be free. The truth of the matter is that people notice these subtle things and conclude on the level of respect to give you. "So and so did this to her and she didn't say anything,  she must be a weakling". Simply put, it gives people room to take advantage of you. It is better to be called defensive than a weakling.

If you are upset about a situation,  evaluate whether it is worth bringing it up with the person that you are upset with or not. If it isn't worth it, get over it. The hallmark of emotional maturity is the ability to speak up or move on, no in- betweens. Passive aggression and hyperemotion doesn't work. It just makes you look child- like in an adult environment.

The fact is that you can be assertive without being rude, regardless of who you are dealing with, whether boss, ceo or president. It is called the classy or corporate clapback. There are also people who are constantly rude to you, belittling you and always fault finding; for such people even after speaking up, never be friendly with them. It only gives them leeway to wriggle back with there B.S.  Such behavior could be coming from a co- worker or colleague. Be cordial,  straightforward, but not friendly. Let there be a boundary between you two.

What an interesting time this is, to sit with our feelings and have a reality check.  No one is born assertive, it is a skill you have to learn and practise daily. Not speaking up and being silent, in essence means tolerating B.S. and  what you tolerate,  you promote.  Silence is not always golden.

PREDICT THE UNPREDICTABLE: IN THE WAKE OF THE CORONAVIRUS

When we were told to self- quarantine in the wake of the coronavirus, I was in a rollercoaster of emotions. It was not just the sudden torrential disruption of activities, but the eerie circumstances that showed how unpredictable predictability is. Then it dawned on me like brilliant clairvoyance, predict the unpredictable.

Our political landscape is full of bigotry and corruption,  revolting nepotism and hidden neo-colonialization, rigidly crafted malicious policies and annoying pomposity of the leaders. Nonetheless, there is a caveat. Isn't it sardonic and enthralling that when we look at the works of the previous leaders, we realise that they were not so abysmal afterall? It is like a meteriote, the beauty of its hitting the earth surface, is certainly not instantaneous.

This pandemic needs eagle- eyed leadership; not lies, shrouded agenda, and smart ways of hoarding money. It calls for collaboration,  analysis and preparedness. Our leaders need to predict the unpredictable and have their full armour on, come what may and inevitably, so do we.

This momentarily shriek of a stunt by SARS- COV2 has brought on a certain dimension of human living that is baffling and bewildering. The great tissue shortage and  panic stockpiling of hand sanitizers, the dread is almost primal. I am sure as hell that the coronavirus is peering down humanity like a chessmaster savouring checkmate before the kill. But then he should not be too cocky, we've got arsenals up our sleeves. What he predicted afterall has an expiry date. So cheers to man for already winning the battle!

Coronavirus or not, the good things in store would manifest. What is meant to be will always find a way!

TRY CATCHING SMOKE WITH BARE HANDS

5 years of marriage and with no baby to mark all those years, he knew that he had to marry again; because he is 'blameless' or at least that is what society made him to believe.

So Kelly came along. She had that charming beauty, that chocolate skin, cascading jet- black hair, perfectly shaped brown eyes and a supermodel walk. All too soon,  they got married.

3 years later, they had a baby to celebrate. In a span of 7 years, there were already five children.  Talk of over correction! With the knowledge that the children were legitimately his, he showered them with whatever they wanted. They were trobing around the globe at will; they owned the largest of businesses and went to the best of schools.

On a cozy weekend, when he was done early with his business trip, he decided to suprise his second wife, Kelly. The fact of the matter is that he did not divorce his first wife. Rather,  he gave her a building next to the one he shared with Kelly, only separated by a mere wall and a metre distance on either sides.

He opened the automated gate, drove and parked his porshe into the garage, put out the lights he was annoyed with their being on and proceeded upstairs. The masters' bedroom was clouded in darkness and he did not want to wake Kelly up. So, he quickly undressed as he feels most at peace with his nudity and gingerly placed his firm athletic body on the bed. As he was rolling over to kiss his wife, he felt a manly body pressing against his. In anguish, he shouted and switched the lights on. Right in front of him was painted the horror of his life.

Kelly was cheating on him and at nowhere else but on their matrimonial bed.

He punched the man in the face, threw his clothes through the windows and yanked him away, out of the room. He turned and looked at his wife in utter confusion and anger. He began hauling insult upon insult on her.

Kelly was unbothered by his antics and gave a soul- crashing response.
"It is this behavior that you are calling distasteful which has been able to cover your disgrace. You think you are a man. Let me let you know right here and now that none of the children are yours. In fact I am going to bring their real fathers". After saying that she knocked the man's shoulder with hers, creating a larger primeter for her exit.

He cried his eyes out.

Two of the children were from the same man, another two from a different man and the last also from a different man. An ungrateful pair upon this astounding reallisation ventured on to see their biological father, while the remaining three were resolute in not acknowledging any other man as their father. The ironic part of the story is that those who left came back when they saw how their real father was cloaked in poverty, not even being able to afford a day's meal.

He divorced his second wife in a swipe of a finger. In sincerity, he asked for forgiveness from his first wife; they were married till death parted them.

Lesson: In a society that so quick to judge, let's not be too swift to dimiss and loathe women when marriage is not producing children. Male infertility does exit. It is  common and contributes 40- 50% to causes of infertility.

Still smiling in the dreamworld...

THE GREATEST YET

I zipped through the news headlines too fast... but stopped and thought of how elated I was to start a new year.  This whole "New year, New you" is quite a cliché that never gets boring.

The New year is also a start to a beautiful beginning to lay out goals for the next 365 days of your life and beyond. It is so easy to become distracted: be caught on with negative thoughts and preocupied with what people say or think of us, comparing or judging others. But like Margret Thatcher said, " Disciplining yourself to do what is right and important,  although difficult,  is the highroad to pride, self-esteem,  and personal satisfaction".

Quit letting others be in charge of your Happiness; quit trying to prove them wrong and just succeed. Be unapologetically yoursel!  If you belive in yourself, the world would believe in you.

There is no lack, there is only abundance of opportunities. Seize them, knowing that consistent hardwork makes the difference. It will all work out as it's meant to be.

Manifesting this year to be the greatest yet!

WHY FRIENDSHIP IS JUST LIKE DATING

When I first came aross the concept of dating your friends, I was boodazled.  Over the years, like peeling the layers of an onion, I have come to appreciate it. I have always known that friendship is a responsibility: looking out for another, caring, being reliable and loyal to another. The question is: who are you ready to take up that responsibility for? Just like dating,  we come up with a list of must- haves and deal-breakers.

Source_Pinterest : @vandanabadlani

Observing people's behaviour has actually forced me to search for the beauty in diverse life events. I was enjoying an Iced tea in a particularly popular restaurant when I recognised a familiar face from a distance. Mandy arrived at a reserved table a little after six forty- five. Seconds later, a slim five feet seven inches lady joined her. They talked so much a about nothing.  It was when I caught glimpse of the ultrasound scan could I explain the inexplicable joy that had catapultated the atmosphere. She was even yet to share the news with her husband.  There are friends whom you've been through it all with and see your joy as their joy. This was perfectly capture by the raptuous display of elation by Miss Nigeria when Miss Jamica won the Miss world.  The intimacy of their friendship made me ponder on the gazillion ways friendship is just like dating.

MEETING
Stage one of both friendship and dating is meeting. This could be at the bookclub, church, sports event, class, airplane, ecetera. Somehow, the forces of the universe and perfect timing cause you to meet. Sometimes from the first encounter you notice a spark. Othertimes, it takes several encounters to notice the spark or attraction. One way or another, you keep in touch and this takes you to stage two, the getting to know each other.

KNOWING EACH OTHER 
You arrange to hang out, do fun activities together and enjoy the company of one another. In so doing, you get to know about their background,  their beliefs, their level of integrity, their morals, their character and flaws. You check the list and evaluate the staus of the relationship. In essence, you ascertain whether you want to get closer to this person or not, just like dating.

DEVELOPING TRUST
Proverbs 17 vs 17 says a friend loves at all times. The best proof of love is trust. Trust is fundamental for building emotional intimacy. Does he do what he says he would do? Is the conversation going beyond small talk? Is there respect? Are you able to talk about your feelings and problems without fear? Is the giving and taking at the same wavelength?
If answers to these are positive,  then there is likely trust. In friendship just like dating, trust takes time to build.

BREAK- UP
Break- ups are painful and confusing; occuring for a myriad of reasons. Often we become too complacent and don't put in the effort. There is no reciprocity of love, time and energy or you simply grow apart.  Sometimes distance and silence does the talking causing the relationship to die. Other times you got to blatantly cut them off because they become toxic.
This dynamic happens in both dating and friendship.  But the willingness to work through conflicts, misunderstandings and hurt feelings makes all the difference. Not all end up in break- up.

IF YOU RUSH, YOU CRASH
Everyone need not be your best friend. That is a close and unique relationship. In the same vein, not all dates would end up In boyfriend/ girlfriend status or even marriage. The fact is that when you jump the stages, you crash.
Imagine, faling out with your friend and having them tell your business to other people.
Imagine being emotionally attached to someone, only to realise they are indifferent about you. This happens all too often because we want to jump the stages.

●The difference between the two is that dating is a romantic one.  The truth is that the relationships that start off as friendship have a solid foundation.

Still smiling in the dreamworld...
With love,
Liz.

TRY SLEEPING WITH A BROKEN HEART

As she waited at the gate, she scrolled through instagram and  thought of  how amazing her summer had been. Somehow, 2 months in Sydney seemed not to have been enough. The Australian weather had been miraculously cleansing!  It was roughly 45 minutes until boarding and she was ecstatic about meeting her family and friends back at home. To be honest, she was totally missing my boyfriend. They had tried to keep in touch everyday, however, somedays she rarely heard from him. That was so untypical of him.

Source_Clipart.Email

"Hi Helena,  how was your plane ride?", said Jeff. They drove for an hour in silence. There was literally no sign of excitement on his face. When they did arrive at their shared apartment, Jeff helped her take her luggage out of the trunk. They talk about everything and about nothing.

Friends came over in the evening and they threw a party comparable to only that of the rich and famous. Loud music threatened to perforate their eardrums and alcohol was spilt all over. The next day, Helena went to visit her family at the other end of town. She was showered with so much love that it was infact suffocating.
Things came back to normal pretty quickly as they geared back into their regular rotine. However, the spark that had first characterised their romance had vanished into smoke. They compensated that with excessive lovemaking. Yet, it felt odd and out of place.

"Bae, could you get the popcorn." She said. He brought two large bags full of popcorn, sat down and wrapped his arms around her. His phone kept on ringing but he was not picking up. "Aren't you going to get that?".  Helena became really uncomfortable and picked up his phone when it rung the again. It was another girl calling. "Who is Veronica?". What followed the question was deafening silence.
"We need to talk".  He was overwhelmed by guilt and in sheer stupidity, he confessed to cheating on helena. "Why? Was I not enough for you", she said. "How long has this cheating been going on?". "Almost 2 months".

She was fuming and could not bear the sight of him. "How can you even look at me. It's Over! Get out!".

She locked the door, coiled herself into a corner of the rooom and cried her heart out. She tossed and pulmetted on her bed a thousand times but sleep evaded her. She had never felt pain as excruciating as this one. She tried but couldn't sleep with a broken heart.

.
.Still smiling in the dream world...