WHY FRIENDSHIP IS JUST LIKE DATING

When I first came aross the concept of dating your friends, I was boodazled.  Over the years, like peeling the layers of an onion, I have come to appreciate it. I have always known that friendship is a responsibility: looking out for another, caring, being reliable and loyal to another. The question is: who are you ready to take up that responsibility for? Just like dating,  we come up with a list of must- haves and deal-breakers.

Source_Pinterest : @vandanabadlani

Observing people's behaviour has actually forced me to search for the beauty in diverse life events. I was enjoying an Iced tea in a particularly popular restaurant when I recognised a familiar face from a distance. Mandy arrived at a reserved table a little after six forty- five. Seconds later, a slim five feet seven inches lady joined her. They talked so much a about nothing.  It was when I caught glimpse of the ultrasound scan could I explain the inexplicable joy that had catapultated the atmosphere. She was even yet to share the news with her husband.  There are friends whom you've been through it all with and see your joy as their joy. This was perfectly capture by the raptuous display of elation by Miss Nigeria when Miss Jamica won the Miss world.  The intimacy of their friendship made me ponder on the gazillion ways friendship is just like dating.

MEETING
Stage one of both friendship and dating is meeting. This could be at the bookclub, church, sports event, class, airplane, ecetera. Somehow, the forces of the universe and perfect timing cause you to meet. Sometimes from the first encounter you notice a spark. Othertimes, it takes several encounters to notice the spark or attraction. One way or another, you keep in touch and this takes you to stage two, the getting to know each other.

KNOWING EACH OTHER 
You arrange to hang out, do fun activities together and enjoy the company of one another. In so doing, you get to know about their background,  their beliefs, their level of integrity, their morals, their character and flaws. You check the list and evaluate the staus of the relationship. In essence, you ascertain whether you want to get closer to this person or not, just like dating.

DEVELOPING TRUST
Proverbs 17 vs 17 says a friend loves at all times. The best proof of love is trust. Trust is fundamental for building emotional intimacy. Does he do what he says he would do? Is the conversation going beyond small talk? Is there respect? Are you able to talk about your feelings and problems without fear? Is the giving and taking at the same wavelength?
If answers to these are positive,  then there is likely trust. In friendship just like dating, trust takes time to build.

BREAK- UP
Break- ups are painful and confusing; occuring for a myriad of reasons. Often we become too complacent and don't put in the effort. There is no reciprocity of love, time and energy or you simply grow apart.  Sometimes distance and silence does the talking causing the relationship to die. Other times you got to blatantly cut them off because they become toxic.
This dynamic happens in both dating and friendship.  But the willingness to work through conflicts, misunderstandings and hurt feelings makes all the difference. Not all end up in break- up.

IF YOU RUSH, YOU CRASH
Everyone need not be your best friend. That is a close and unique relationship. In the same vein, not all dates would end up In boyfriend/ girlfriend status or even marriage. The fact is that when you jump the stages, you crash.
Imagine, faling out with your friend and having them tell your business to other people.
Imagine being emotionally attached to someone, only to realise they are indifferent about you. This happens all too often because we want to jump the stages.

●The difference between the two is that dating is a romantic one.  The truth is that the relationships that start off as friendship have a solid foundation.

Still smiling in the dreamworld...
With love,
Liz.