Sometimes, people intentionally test you, to know how far they can go with disrespecting you. When someone says or does something that hurt you, say something. Let them know right there that what they did or said isn't right. Don't overthink it! No one is that important to hold a wholesale department in your mind, speak up and be free. The truth of the matter is that people notice these subtle things and conclude on the level of respect to give you. "So and so did this to her and she didn't say anything, she must be a weakling". Simply put, it gives people room to take advantage of you. It is better to be called defensive than a weakling.
If you are upset about a situation, evaluate whether it is worth bringing it up with the person that you are upset with or not. If it isn't worth it, get over it. The hallmark of emotional maturity is the ability to speak up or move on, no in- betweens. Passive aggression and hyperemotion doesn't work. It just makes you look child- like in an adult environment.
The fact is that you can be assertive without being rude, regardless of who you are dealing with, whether boss, ceo or president. It is called the classy or corporate clapback. There are also people who are constantly rude to you, belittling you and always fault finding; for such people even after speaking up, never be friendly with them. It only gives them leeway to wriggle back with there B.S. Such behavior could be coming from a co- worker or colleague. Be cordial, straightforward, but not friendly. Let there be a boundary between you two.
What an interesting time this is, to sit with our feelings and have a reality check. No one is born assertive, it is a skill you have to learn and practise daily. Not speaking up and being silent, in essence means tolerating B.S. and what you tolerate, you promote. Silence is not always golden.
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