GREED VS COMPASSION: IN THE WAKE OF THE CORONAVIRUS

When the president announced the sudden lock down,  the whole nation went into a state of frenzy. With no clear understanding of what the term meant, the purpose was defeated even before it started.

The lockdown or cordon sanitaire is an area where no one can enter or leave, mainly aimed to stop the infection speading outside the city. Any imported cases are then dealt with through isolation and treatment. This is what was done around Wuhan and the neighboring cities causing their number of cases to plummet to zero. However,  It was the direct opposite in this country. People were fleeing like drones to the areas exempted from the lockdown. Belive you me, I am still trying to fathom the psychology of my people. But afterall, every man for himself, right?

The decision to have a lockdown would have been perfect if not for the few predictable flaws. Among them being the lack of intense public education right from the genesis and the apparent lack of forecast into the economic stability. These serve as the breeding ground for the most ostentatious atrocities.

Over night, Items were being sold for more than 3 times their initial price and the markets were chocked.  What could be bought to feed a family of ten could now only feed five.  The traders had become prey to their own bizarre and competely selfish desires and somewhat misguided ambitions of wealth, falling into the bottomless pit of greed. It is like they just woke up as different creatures. Their evidently bright plan is to make the year's profit in the short lockdown period. As the wise man Rusty Eric once said, "As long as greed is stronger than compassion,  there would always be suffering".

It is amusing how these same people can sit back and talk of corruption by the leaders with impunity. I found truth in the saying that we always criticise the things in other peple that we fear most in ourselves. Yet another staggering revelation is that some people with COVID- 19 spontaneously fancy moving into this country.  They've been using unapproved routes and smuggling themselves in pin- sized cargo. For goodness sake, where is the compassion?!

Globally, there are over 700, 000 confirmed cases of coronavirus infection.  Yes, the figures are frightening and petrifying causing one to shake(not the good kind). But this one too shall pass. As long as there is hope, there is a way. We live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don't believe in miracles?

Let's remember to be kind to one another,  be compassionate and remember the power of community.

With love,
Elizabeth.

OVERSHARING, OVERCORRECTION AND OVERCOMPENSATION

Wait, what?!

When I showed him those private nessages, I inherently regreted in an instant. I was so determined to prove a point, like a lion looking for his dinner, that I divulge to him the must nots. Yet, the relationship remained more slime and sleaze than I could ever imagine. I started bombarding him with messages and calls with the aim of reestablishing a broken connection.  Speak of over compensation!

Over compensation is going to the gym and trying to lift a 100kg when you can only lift 50kg. Overcompensation is striving feverishly to fit in socially that you appear awkward. According to the merriam- webster dictionary,  over compensation is excessive reaction to a feeling of inferiority,  guilt or inadequacy leading to an exaggerated attempt to overcome the feeling. It can sometimes be counterproductive.

You are going to run into people who don't deserve to get to know you on a certain level.  Vulnerability needs to be earned and trust needs to be built.  In one of my posts, I talked of how you crush when you rush in friendship and basically relationships in general. Let your conversations and dealings with others be seasoned with moderation.  You don't have to share everything.

It is amazing how people can share so much about their lives online when in  real life they won't dare do that. Some showing evidence of their apparent best life, pda filled relationships, glamour filled fashion, fierce workouts, botched and seemingly perfect surgeries and misleading advertisement. A lot of it is just smoke and mirrors. It has created this phenomenon where people end up comparing the different chapters of their lives  with those of others, which is unhealthy.

Once an authoritative yet misogynistic teacher gave a female student 12 strong lashes that tore through the bare fleshy skin, because the student stepped  out to the hostel during class hours. He didn't even bother to find out the absolutely valid reason the student went out in the first place. Overcorrection can come in so many spectrums. It is trying so hard to make something right that you go overboard. For instance, when your previous wife doesn't want children and you marry another then have a gazilion babies that you cannot adequately take care of. No need for name calling here.

Be winning in real life and not just on social media; be present, be content, be respectful of  boundaries; be moderate and don't let the actions of others determine your character.  Like a Latin proverb says, too much of anything is bad. Eating is great for the body, however,  delightful over indulgence in even the favorites: chocolates,  donuts, wine, ecetera could lead to obesity. So why don't you evaluate the areas that you are literally going overboard.

WHY SILENCE IS NOT ALWAYS GOLDEN

I used to be mute... it feels weird to even say that now. Lately, I have allowed myself to be assertive. That was not the story before. I guess I wanted to be seen as an angel; not offending anyone; treading so gently so not to hurt a fly. Some ended up interpreteding my kind and considerate manners as a sign of fear. Little did they know they were in for a surprise.

Sometimes, people intentionally test you, to know how far they can go with disrespecting you. When someone says or does something that hurt you, say something. Let them know right there that what they did or said isn't right. Don't overthink it! No one is that important to hold a wholesale department in your mind, speak up and be free. The truth of the matter is that people notice these subtle things and conclude on the level of respect to give you. "So and so did this to her and she didn't say anything,  she must be a weakling". Simply put, it gives people room to take advantage of you. It is better to be called defensive than a weakling.

If you are upset about a situation,  evaluate whether it is worth bringing it up with the person that you are upset with or not. If it isn't worth it, get over it. The hallmark of emotional maturity is the ability to speak up or move on, no in- betweens. Passive aggression and hyperemotion doesn't work. It just makes you look child- like in an adult environment.

The fact is that you can be assertive without being rude, regardless of who you are dealing with, whether boss, ceo or president. It is called the classy or corporate clapback. There are also people who are constantly rude to you, belittling you and always fault finding; for such people even after speaking up, never be friendly with them. It only gives them leeway to wriggle back with there B.S.  Such behavior could be coming from a co- worker or colleague. Be cordial,  straightforward, but not friendly. Let there be a boundary between you two.

What an interesting time this is, to sit with our feelings and have a reality check.  No one is born assertive, it is a skill you have to learn and practise daily. Not speaking up and being silent, in essence means tolerating B.S. and  what you tolerate,  you promote.  Silence is not always golden.

PREDICT THE UNPREDICTABLE: IN THE WAKE OF THE CORONAVIRUS

When we were told to self- quarantine in the wake of the coronavirus, I was in a rollercoaster of emotions. It was not just the sudden torrential disruption of activities, but the eerie circumstances that showed how unpredictable predictability is. Then it dawned on me like brilliant clairvoyance, predict the unpredictable.

Our political landscape is full of bigotry and corruption,  revolting nepotism and hidden neo-colonialization, rigidly crafted malicious policies and annoying pomposity of the leaders. Nonetheless, there is a caveat. Isn't it sardonic and enthralling that when we look at the works of the previous leaders, we realise that they were not so abysmal afterall? It is like a meteriote, the beauty of its hitting the earth surface, is certainly not instantaneous.

This pandemic needs eagle- eyed leadership; not lies, shrouded agenda, and smart ways of hoarding money. It calls for collaboration,  analysis and preparedness. Our leaders need to predict the unpredictable and have their full armour on, come what may and inevitably, so do we.

This momentarily shriek of a stunt by SARS- COV2 has brought on a certain dimension of human living that is baffling and bewildering. The great tissue shortage and  panic stockpiling of hand sanitizers, the dread is almost primal. I am sure as hell that the coronavirus is peering down humanity like a chessmaster savouring checkmate before the kill. But then he should not be too cocky, we've got arsenals up our sleeves. What he predicted afterall has an expiry date. So cheers to man for already winning the battle!

Coronavirus or not, the good things in store would manifest. What is meant to be will always find a way!

TRY CATCHING SMOKE WITH BARE HANDS

5 years of marriage and with no baby to mark all those years, he knew that he had to marry again; because he is 'blameless' or at least that is what society made him to believe.

So Kelly came along. She had that charming beauty, that chocolate skin, cascading jet- black hair, perfectly shaped brown eyes and a supermodel walk. All too soon,  they got married.

3 years later, they had a baby to celebrate. In a span of 7 years, there were already five children.  Talk of over correction! With the knowledge that the children were legitimately his, he showered them with whatever they wanted. They were trobing around the globe at will; they owned the largest of businesses and went to the best of schools.

On a cozy weekend, when he was done early with his business trip, he decided to suprise his second wife, Kelly. The fact of the matter is that he did not divorce his first wife. Rather,  he gave her a building next to the one he shared with Kelly, only separated by a mere wall and a metre distance on either sides.

He opened the automated gate, drove and parked his porshe into the garage, put out the lights he was annoyed with their being on and proceeded upstairs. The masters' bedroom was clouded in darkness and he did not want to wake Kelly up. So, he quickly undressed as he feels most at peace with his nudity and gingerly placed his firm athletic body on the bed. As he was rolling over to kiss his wife, he felt a manly body pressing against his. In anguish, he shouted and switched the lights on. Right in front of him was painted the horror of his life.

Kelly was cheating on him and at nowhere else but on their matrimonial bed.

He punched the man in the face, threw his clothes through the windows and yanked him away, out of the room. He turned and looked at his wife in utter confusion and anger. He began hauling insult upon insult on her.

Kelly was unbothered by his antics and gave a soul- crashing response.
"It is this behavior that you are calling distasteful which has been able to cover your disgrace. You think you are a man. Let me let you know right here and now that none of the children are yours. In fact I am going to bring their real fathers". After saying that she knocked the man's shoulder with hers, creating a larger primeter for her exit.

He cried his eyes out.

Two of the children were from the same man, another two from a different man and the last also from a different man. An ungrateful pair upon this astounding reallisation ventured on to see their biological father, while the remaining three were resolute in not acknowledging any other man as their father. The ironic part of the story is that those who left came back when they saw how their real father was cloaked in poverty, not even being able to afford a day's meal.

He divorced his second wife in a swipe of a finger. In sincerity, he asked for forgiveness from his first wife; they were married till death parted them.

Lesson: In a society that so quick to judge, let's not be too swift to dimiss and loathe women when marriage is not producing children. Male infertility does exit. It is  common and contributes 40- 50% to causes of infertility.

Still smiling in the dreamworld...