NAVIGATING THE DEPTHS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND DEALING WITH THE VICISSITUDES DURING THIS PANDEMIC

Watching the 2015 animated film, Inside Out was like peering through the depths of emotional intelligence.  For centuries mankind has spared no efforts in finding out the various dimensions of this form of intelligence,  EQ.  The fact that Daniel Goleman's international bestseller 'Emotional Intelliegence' has sold over 5 million copies in 40 different languages proves just that.

gonewiththetwins

Inside out gave a paranomic view of the five core emotions ( Joy, Sadness, Fear,  Anger and Disgust) and how their interplay affects decisions and choices. A teachable lesson from the movie is that every emotion is important and that it is important to get comfortable even with the uncomfortable ones. I have spoken briefly about it in a previous post.  One of the most trying times is navigating emotions following a break-up. You feel all these emotions that are dreaded and yearn for a quick fix. However, it is when you harness and grow out of them, do you see real change. Ultimately, every emotion is "Energy in Motion".

In 1995, Daniel Goleman did propose that emotinal intelligent people have four fundamental capabilities of self- awaressness, self regulation, social awareness and social skils. But, what has really intrigued me about emotionally intelligent people is the fact that they can be very manipulative, yet hardly get manipulated.  Since we all need to know how to spot a user and overall, live in the blissful land of emotional intelligence,  here are 5 steps to achieving that.

Read people
Watch body language, observe and evaluate people's actions and reactions. One thing that most tend to overlook is the fact that reactions are data.

Learn the Fine Art of Communication
Emotionally intelligent people are able to communicate difficult feelings. They don't get irrationally mad with their partners, they say the hard truth in sincerity and love and don't create unnecessary drama. They are assertive and have a laudable ability to listen.

Look at things from a third person view point
Take yourself form the narrative and adress whatever issue you are dealing with as a third party. This detachment allows you to make decisions that are not clouded by emotions. Besides, being skeptical is a good thing. If something sounds to good to be true, then probably it is.

Predict Behaviour, Manage Expectations
The best predictor of future Behavior is past Behavior. Knowing how perosn is likely to act in situation x, y and z, you can better handle expectations. It is best to have low expectations of people; strive to give to yourself,  what you seek for from others, be it vallidation or approval.

Have a Positive Attitude
The key to having a positive attitude is cultivation of positive thoughts. Optimistic individuals do get negative thoughts,  but they quickly replace them with positive ones. Like it is wisely said, a thought precedes an emotion.

          While I am wondering how the heck people are making millions on tiktok during this pandemic, I am tempted to ponder on how others are dealing with the whirlwind collage of emotions. Indeed, this is no time to be hyper- emotional, it is a call for adaptation. It is also a subtle reminder to the 4A's of stress management: avoid,  alter, adapt or accept. De- stress, unwind and find ways of sparkling joy around; put on your fab playlist and have a little dance party. This too shall pass!

          As the sage Lucius Annaeus Seneca said, "If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you're needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person".

#Staypositive #Stayhome #Staysafe

THE SUPER SLICK REASON WHY FASHION IS A STATEMENT: AND WHY CORONAVIRUS IS MAKING IT MORE OBVIOUS

It is easy to feel that fashion doesn't affect you. Afterall, what we see on the runway appear more ridiculous and somewhat bizzare. But they are made that way for a purpose; to grab your attention and to make a statement. One way or another, our everyday wear does trickle down from the runway.

Sitting down with my legs stretched outward, hair all pulled up on top of my head, skewered by pins, I looked at the words on my top that read "life is too short to wear boring clothes".

And I couldn't agree more. Even if you are just lounging around in the house, especially during this quarantine period, wear your best clothes.

Fashion has revolved and evolved over the years and continues to do so, but there are some things that remain classic like the Levi jeans, Saint Laurent tuxedo and the Burberry trench.

It is interesting to know that Coco Chanel was the first to begin borrowing her boyfriend's trousers and started wearing them as a fashion statement. She was way ahead of her time! She is one of the motivations behind my recent obsession with Luxury brands. Chanel, Dior, Hermes, Givenchy et. al offer exceptional creativity and longevity.  Without any shrek of doubt, luxury items are investment.

Fashion is a way to look alike, yet it is also a way to stand out. It offers a unique avenue to express our moods, our social positions or even our beliefs. Evidently, the met gala remains a fortitude for the biggest names in fashion to put on a true spectacle of dazzle. From Rihanna's 2015 yellow dress by Guo Pei to Kim Kardashian's 2019 skintight Maison Mugler corset, the world of fashion always has something to say.

So dare to make a bold statement with your fashion! Participate in these fun dress- up challenges sprouting up during this social distancing period: the pants off challenge, the pillow dress challenge, the trash costume trend and whatever new ones coming up. Happy yourself while killing time during this quarantine!
I actually saw a plus size woman of colour wearing a top with the inscriptions "I already have corona", and boy o' mine, laughter spontaneously escaped from my mouth. "You go girl, coronavirus can't get you", I said in betweeen my bouts of laughter.

NewsDay24, Fortune.com

Truth be told, I am pretty sure that wearing of face masks would very much become a trend even after this pandemic. With rappers spuring out juicy lyrics in the studio while wearing face masks (mimicking the likes of Future and Travis Scott), to beauty gurus filling our feeds with the different colour cordinations of face masks with everyday wear, and finally it becoming a dominant accessory on the runway.  In fact, the 2020 Paris fashion week showed models wearing outfits complete with matching face masks.

As we make our diy face masks, let's continue to follow the WHO guidelines. This crisis would surely pass!  Keep hope alive, for there is light despite the darkness.

THE RARE BEAUTY OF NEW LIFE

It was genuinely a delight to see how Maleficient rose from the ashes, turning into a phoenix- dragon to end the war. The Phoenix is an ancient creature that periodically is born again. It symbolises renewal and resurrection.

You can probably tell that I have been binge watching lots of movies and that I can narrate to you the perfect alternate ending to most. But what you probably can't tell is the soul-searching that came with it.

You see, the perfect example of resurrection is found in the Easter story. Jesus was hung on the cross, then died. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day. This goes to show the rare beauty of new life.

These are strange times for all of us. While we cannot gather in churches, we can all celebrate in our little conrners. Truly, the digital media has created a universe where we can connect with one another without being physically present. As we are practicing social distancing, let's spread love and joy through our virtual communities.

Praying for a return to more normal time. Happy Easter!!!

GOSSIP CHILD 2

Sasha and Julia became quick friends despite their 20- something age gap and were literally tied up at the waist. It was near Impossible to spot one without seeing the other. As usual, they went shopping, came back and droped their purchases on the bed, to be sorted out later.

Just then, a light skin guy with curly blonde hair stepped into the room after jumping through the windows. He was wearing a Navy blue T- shirt and a form fitting jeans which gave him a youthful charm. Like an expert inamorato, he started carressing Julia right infront of 9 year old Sasha. He was her secret lover and once upon a time high school sweetheart.  "Go join Grandma and the others in the kitchen", said Julia.